the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I think my moral compass just broke
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