she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
