there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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