god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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