You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Houston, we have a blender
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.