yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
My ass is underappreciated
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?