shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
