he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
