I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
