I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I need a beard to bite.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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