it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
