just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
