just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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