i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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