chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
