I puked a lego.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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