alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
