We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
