he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
