I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
