doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
