I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
