Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
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Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
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I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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