It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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