I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
