he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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