sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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