and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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