chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I understand Curling. That high.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
