The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
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Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
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Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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