For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
