Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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