question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
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we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
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Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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