You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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