Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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