I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
