i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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