I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize