i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
