as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
