she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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