I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
