shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize