I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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