just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize