i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
