Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
