Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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