My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
