Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
