Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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