I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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