exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
