I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
