D3 body, D1 cock
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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