When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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