Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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