forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize