I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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