Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
